In the years leading up to his sickness (cancer), I was getting a ton of negative examples of religious thinking, or as I began to see, religious justification for discrimination and oppression. I also began to see religion as a crutch some people need, just like some people need instructions, just like some people need a recipe in order to cook. Some people need it, and that is fine. Go for it, if that is what you need. However, I don't need it, I don't believe it, and I don't want to hear about it.
Let me preface my next thoughts with - I loved Daddy very much. He was a GREAT dad. I would give almost anything if he were still alive, and I hate that he is not. I am very thankful that he was MY dad, and I couldn't imagine being the person I am today, if he was not my dad.
Not only was I getting negative example of religious thinking in the political arena, I was getting one from Daddy himself, or more specifically from his marriage and his wife. Daddy was not a social person, he was more of a thinker, an observer. He did, however, value close relationships. He did not want to be alone, he didn't want a bunch of people around, but he wanted close, personal relationships. I don't remember when he told me this story, but it happened about 12 or 13 years ago. (Daddy was not religious for most of his life, at least not most of my life, but somewhere along the way, that changed.) He was living in Colorado, alone, and he didn't want to be alone. He started praying and he said "I felt God hit me upside the head, and said Let me handle it". Well, God handled it alright. Shortly thereafter, Daddy met a very religious woman, and I mean very religious, such as praying while holding hands before every meal, her realtor had to be "Christian", her father was a church musical director, etc, etc, etc... Daddy thought this was the one God meant for him to have, so he married her. Daddy was a smart man, with a Master's Degree in business. He liked to read, and learn. He was on the cutting edge of the computer industry. His wife also had the potential to be smart too, but, she was raised to always give Jesus credit for EVERYTHING. Jesus would ALWAYS provide the answer. No thinking needed, just follow the directions in the bible. Do not question it. And, of course, in the Christian bible, the man/husband had all of the responsibility, or at least all of the thinking and providing responsibility. In the mind of Daddy's wife, Jesus came first, with all of the answers, and Daddy came second to carry out all of the answers.
I, on the other hand, had a mother (Daddy's first wife of over 20 years) that was a fatherless child. Her father died when she was 2 years old, and her mother never re-married, but raised six children. My mother always taught us that "you don't need a man to do stuff for you". One year for Christmas, she gave us all (4 daughters) our own tool kit. Mom and Daddy did not raise us religiously, and we are not raising our kids that way either. I don't need instructions. I don't need a crutch. I learn, I make mistakes, I try to learn from my mistakes.
If there was a God, my husband would not have died 7 weeks before my father died. If there was a God, these too very good men would still be alive, and if God needed angels, he could have taken people of lesser morals instead.
Here is where the coincidence comes in. Today is International Day to Defend Blasphemers and Apostates.
Today is the day Daddy died. Today is the day I became an apostate and a blasphemer.
a·pos·tate (
-p
s
t
t
, -t
t)
n.
One who has abandoned one's religious faith, a political party, one's principles, or a cause.
blas·phe·my (bl
sf-m
)n. pl. blas·phe·mies 1.
sf-m)n. pl. blas·phe·mies 1.
a. A contemptuous or profane act, utterance, or writing concerning God or a sacred entity.
(And thank you to whoever gave us freedom of speech.)
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