7 ways to find clarity

I follow a FB page called The Grief Toolbox. It has a lot of good information. I keep gravitating towards the poems for some reason. Probably because they are short. The above poem is from that page.

I stumbled upon an article, also on their page, called 7 ways to Find Clarity Following the death of a Loved One.

https://www.thegrieftoolbox.com/article/7-ways-find-clarity-following-death-loved-one#.T9TUIb35SkY.facebook

I included the link because I think I have to give credit if I'm going to quote it. Plus, you may want to read the article yourself. If not, don't worry, I'm about to talk about. Here is the premise...


"When you lose someone you love, it's natural to start thinking about life. You think about where you are in life, what you want to get out of it, and what's missing. These thoughts are a natural reaction to your circumstances and should not be ignored, but rather nurtured and acted upon. Take this opportunity to do some soul searching and look to answer all of these questions about your purpose in life and what you need to do to make a change. Here are 7 tips for finding clarity and purpose following the death of your loved one."

1.  What do you miss about the departed?
For me, this is an never ending question. I'm not sure I am ready to look at this. But, I will give it a start anyway. I miss John's sense of humor most of all. I miss his dumb jokes. I miss his blue eyes that always looked like they were smiling. I miss looking at his arms and hands, how strong and able they were. I miss eating with him. I miss how he would moan in delight when I made tacos with pico de gallo. I miss hearing him chat with his mom on the phone. I miss him tooling around the house doing something and nothing at the same time.  I miss how proud he was of Jes. I miss getting to share her life with him. There is so much, this list could go on and on and on. I think I will physically write some more of this list in my private journal. In quiet contemplation and vulnerability. This is probably a VERY important step in my grief. I will have to give this more thought.

2.  What are you passionate about?
Probably the most important thing for myself is freedom and peace. I hate the constrains of a "predictable" life. I hate getting stuck in a rut. I hate the "rat race". This is supposed to be about what I want, but all I can come up with is what I don't want. I will have to give this more thought. (Are you sensing a pattern here?)

3.  What are your unique talents?
Have you ever asked yourself this question? I feel like I don't have any unique talents. How many of us really do? If we did, wouldn't the world be a totally happy place? Wouldn't we all be rock stars, or rich novelists, or successful chefs? I do like to write, and I love to travel. A combination of the two would be a dream.

4.  What's holding you back?
Damn good question! The answer is FEAR!

5.  Seek Guidance.
OK. But, let me get over fear first.

6.  Keep a Journal.
Doing that as we speak. But, the article says to read back over it and see if something in particular keeps popping up. I know right now, anger keeps popping up, but that will not help me find clarity, or find a future.

7.  Schedule time for this journey.
Does that mean writing in this blog everyday? Reading articles every morning? I do enjoy the first few hours of the mourning wondering around the internet. Reading about grief, thinking about John and Daddy, and frankly thinking about myself. What to do, where to go..... I call this grief work. As far as scheduling a life, I have to figure out what life I want first.

Ok, my work for the day is done. I hope everyone has a very good day. For me, I try to remember I still need to enjoy life because Daddy and John don't get to enjoy it anymore.